*casually tosses a pregnancy test into my shopping cart like nothings wrong*

"Do you have somewhere to be?" - Obvious Child (2014)

Currently watching bc jenny slate is everything.

latenightseth:

You have to choose: Getting lucky, or Terrance the chameleon?

latenightseth:

You have to choose: Getting lucky, or Terrance the chameleon?

Sex pls

sassykardashian:

my heart says yes but my bank balance says no

thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog:

becuzbacon:

Tell it, Randy.

Randy said fuck your bullshit


Numerous omfg

thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog:

becuzbacon:

Tell it, Randy.

Randy said fuck your bullshit

Numerous omfg

666-slut:

IF UR READING THIS U LOOK VERY CUTE TODAY AND ALSO ILY

shitdickfuckmothafucka:

justforfuckingfun:

weaknudes:

waking up cold: alright I need more blankies

waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.

Omfg

True

"If not for the ash, the phoenix would just be a bird getting up."

I can’t stop watching this.

caseyanthonyofficial:

I like taking my dog out for walks but I avoid it because I want my dog to look cool and it takes too long to put that much hair gel on him.

I’m stoned thus then I laughed at this.

ineedmorelube:

trarnp:

ineedmorelube:

wakey wakey eggs and bakey

but I’m a vegan

wakey wakey vegetables

Reblog if you’ve seen one of your followers naked